Hey, I’m Amber, the creator of Body Positive Yoga. Welcome to my clubhouse.

My relationship with my body is something that’s changed and evolved throughout my life.

There was the young kid-freedom of trampolines, riding bikes in the street, catching tadpoles in roadside ditches, bodysurfing in the ocean, and playing on the t-ball team at the YMCA. I participated in a few beauty pageants too. I actually had a lot of fun doing that, and got a bunch of cool shiny trophies.

In my preteen years I started to pay attention to how people looked. I noticed that I was different from a lot of the girls I was friends with. I noticed how they wore makeup or dressed fancier. They tended to stay indoors while I was outside being a tomboy, still doing kid stuff.

At some point, cultural conditioning about beauty standards set in, I hit puberty and suddenly had an adult body at age 13. I started to become much more aware of my body, especially how other people reacted to it. I observed all the ways it was both too much and not enough.

I hated my body, but I also usually found something more interesting to focus on (booking punk rock shows, making art, playing sports).

My looks never made me, if that makes sense.

I gained weight in my later teen years and by my early 20s I was a plus-sized young woman.

Hey, I’m Amber, the creator of Body Positive Yoga. Welcome to my clubhouse.

My relationship with my body is something that’s changed and evolved throughout my life.

There was the young kid-freedom of trampolines, riding bikes in the street, catching tadpoles in roadside ditches, bodysurfing in the ocean, and playing on the t-ball team at the YMCA. I participated in a few beauty pageants too. I actually had a lot of fun doing that, and got a bunch of cool shiny trophies.

In my preteen years I started to pay attention to how people looked. I noticed that I was different from a lot of the girls I was friends with. I noticed how they wore makeup or dressed fancier. They tended to stay indoors while I was outside being a tomboy, still doing kid stuff.

At some point, cultural conditioning about beauty standards set in, I hit puberty and suddenly had an adult body at age 13. I started to become much more aware of my body, especially how other people reacted to it. I observed all the ways it was both too much and not enough.

I hated my body, but I also usually found something more interesting to focus on (booking punk rock shows, making art, playing sports).

My looks never made me, if that makes sense.

I gained weight in my later teen years and by my early 20s I was a plus-sized young woman.

In my 20s…

As a kid, I had played a lot of team sports, but in my 20s, I discovered fitness. There were the YMCA years with Zumba and spin classes. I found weightlifting and eventually CrossFit. Then there was that brief flirtation with running, a few 5k and 10k races.

I also discovered yoga in my early 20s. I’ve told the story of my first yoga class many times, where I discovered that my brain would shut up for large chunks of time if I mimicked the instructor’s movements and instructions about breath. Plagued by a busy brain and anxiety for years, this new yoga reprieve made me feel like I had discovered magic.

My yoga journey happened in tandem with discovering the fat acceptance and body positive communities online. I first stumbled on the idea of body acceptance on Livejournal (yes, I am old in internet years).

I flirted with body acceptance, and I loved exploring plus size fashion through communities like Fatshionista. But all throughout my 20s, I dieted and tried to lose weight. Weight Watchers. Paleo. A few years of veganism.

My weight fluctuated. I hated my fat body, and most of the time I was frustrated with it for not losing weight and keeping it off (back then, I didn’t know that over 95% of people who lose weight won’t keep it off long-term). 

The things I was learning as I dug deeper into body liberation and feminism started to capture my imagination. My beliefs and values around body size and health began to change.

In my 20s…

As a kid, I had played a lot of team sports, but in my 20s, I discovered fitness. There were the YMCA years with Zumba and spin classes. I found weightlifting and eventually CrossFit. Then there was that brief flirtation with running, a few 5k and 10k races.

I also discovered yoga in my early 20s. I’ve told the story of my first yoga class many times, where I discovered that my brain would shut up for large chunks of time if I mimicked the instructor’s movements and instructions about breath. Plagued by a busy brain and anxiety for years, this new yoga reprieve made me feel like I had discovered magic.

My yoga journey happened in tandem with discovering the fat acceptance and body positive communities online. I first stumbled on the idea of body acceptance on Livejournal (yes, I am old in internet years).

I flirted with body acceptance, and I loved exploring plus size fashion through communities like Fatshionista. But all throughout my 20s, I dieted and tried to lose weight. Weight Watchers. Paleo. A few years of veganism.

My weight fluctuated. I hated my fat body, and most of the time I was frustrated with it for not losing weight and keeping it off (back then, I didn’t know that over 95% of people who lose weight won’t keep it off long-term). 

The things I was learning as I dug deeper into body liberation and feminism started to capture my imagination. My beliefs and values around body size and health began to change.

…and now in my 40s

I am thrilled to be leading adventure travel retreats for women who want to make peace with their bodies. I also help independent creatives and solo business owners get better at sharing their work.

This Body Positive Yoga Library is my love letter to the practice of yoga, which has served me and my body extremely well for over two decades now.

And at the big ol’ age of 44, I am enjoying the heck out of kid stuff aka playing. I love a good adventure, whether it’s riding with the stunt bikers of Baltimore and Mexico City with my camera in hand or rappelling down waterfalls in Costa Rica.

In 2024, I learned to surf in Mexico and since then I have led 3 sold-out surf camps for complete beginners. I’m obsessed with surfing and go any chance I get. (I am such a beginner and I am having fun.)

I have rediscovered my love for lifting heavy weights, and have become a full-fledged gym rat. I am also learning to teach people to lift weights, which is exciting!

I am amazed at what this body can do. And I have become acutely aware at just how much maintenance my body takes to feel good and keep my pain levels manageable. 🫠 Stuff really does change as we get older. It’s humbling and exciting in equal measure.

…and now in my 40s

I am thrilled to be leading adventure travel retreats for women who want to make peace with their bodies. I also help independent creatives and solo business owners get better at sharing their work.

This Body Positive Yoga Library is my love letter to the practice of yoga, which has served me and my body extremely well for over two decades now.

And at the big ol’ age of 44, I am enjoying the heck out of kid stuff aka playing. I love a good adventure, whether it’s riding with the stunt bikers of Baltimore and Mexico City with my camera in hand or rappelling down waterfalls in Costa Rica.

In 2024, I learned to surf in Mexico and since then I have led 3 sold-out surf camps for complete beginners. I’m obsessed with surfing and go any chance I get. (I am such a beginner and I am having fun.)

I have rediscovered my love for lifting heavy weights, and have become a full-fledged gym rat. I am also learning to teach people to lift weights, which is exciting!

I am amazed at what this body can do. And I have become acutely aware at just how much maintenance my body takes to feel good and keep my pain levels manageable. 🫠 Stuff really does change as we get older. It’s humbling and exciting in equal measure.

My body image seems to get more and more relaxed-feeling, the older I get (thank you God and 20+ years of body liberation work). Despite loving what my body can do for me, sometimes when I look in the mirror, the old software kicks in and I feel dismayed by this weird, constantly changing, melting candle of a body.

But mostly these days, I feel unbothered about the business of appearing attractive to other people. Maybe it’s something I’ve earned through aging and learning to be more comfortable in my own skin. For once in my life I also feel free of the mandate to “attract or keep a man” via my looks, which is something society practically demands of us as women. I’m opting out. 😂

I’ve been in bigger and smaller versions of this body.

This body has experienced injuries, surgeries, chronic pain, depression, anxiety, hearing loss, tinnitus, disordered eating, cellulite, stretch marks, a million weird skin things, and so many headaches I can’t count.

This body has also taken me on a million adventures and provided me with so much joy and pleasure.

Nowadays, I live for those moments when I’m deeply in my body, absorbed in an activity or in movement. Practicing yoga. Creating a collage. Swimming in the ocean. Lifting weights. Riding a bike in city traffic as kids whiz by doing wheelies. Surfing. Dancing. 

Time disappears and me and my body are allies. Partners in crime. Thick as thieves. I want more of that. I chase that instead of a certain look or weight. What will this body do next? 

My body image seems to get more and more relaxed-feeling, the older I get (thank you God and 20+ years of body liberation work). Despite loving what my body can do for me, sometimes when I look in the mirror, the old software kicks in and I feel dismayed by this weird, constantly changing, melting candle of a body.

But mostly these days, I feel unbothered about the business of appearing attractive to other people. Maybe it’s something I’ve earned through aging and learning to be more comfortable in my own skin. For once in my life I also feel free of the mandate to “attract or keep a man” via my looks, which is something society practically demands of us as women. I’m opting out. 😂

I’ve been in bigger and smaller versions of this body.

This body has experienced injuries, surgeries, chronic pain, depression, anxiety, hearing loss, tinnitus, disordered eating, cellulite, stretch marks, a million weird skin things, and so many headaches I can’t count.

This body has also taken me on a million adventures and provided me with so much joy and pleasure.

Nowadays, I live for those moments when I’m deeply in my body, absorbed in an activity or in movement. Practicing yoga. Creating a collage. Swimming in the ocean. Lifting weights. Riding a bike in city traffic as kids whiz by doing wheelies. Surfing. Dancing. 

Time disappears and me and my body are allies. Partners in crime. Thick as thieves. I want more of that. I chase that instead of a certain look or weight. What will this body do next?